Sunday, 19 November 2017

International Men's Day

Navya was working on fixing an issue.
Now this was a piece which was coded, tested by a colleague Rehan who is technically sound. As developers we all agree that sometimes even with all the testing effort there could be some bugs left behind. The client wanted it to be fixed asap and that is when the manager yelled at Rehan. Navya was asked to look into the issue and while she was doing so , she saw Rehan in all tears. She did not want to ask him any questions further related to that code.

Later in a discussion,Rehan narrated the incident in front of his team members and said  'a lady manager was yelling at me and had asked a lady developer to look into my code. I had put in a lot of efforts so I could not help but burst into tears. We all do mistakes and learn from them. I have realised that it is okay for men to cry. It actually helps to release stress and tension.'

Men don't cry, stop acting like a girl are the words that cause men to suffer in silence.

There's a lot to talk about and think about.

To all the wonderful men who make this world a beautiful place to live in "Happy International Men's Day".

Sunday, 8 October 2017

The Race

 “Winning horse doesn’t know why it is in the race. It runs because of beats and pains.
Life is a race, God is your rider. So if you are in pain think God wants you to win.”

“The sharpest minds often ruin their lives by overthinking the next step, While the dull win the race with eyes closed.”

I am Vihaan. While I was in school all that was important to me was to score good marks and get admitted to a good science college.

I wanted to get into the science stream because I was made to believe by my family, friends, and relatives that science is for the intelligent minds.

By the time I was in 12th grade, there were many people who asked: "so what next - medical or engineering"?  Then there were few who said medicine is not everyone’s cup of tea.

Somehow I decided to study Engineering. I was very happy. All that was important to me in the first year was to get graduated on time. In the third year, I was worried as it was important to get placed by the end of the fourth year.
If not, my relatives would judge my capabilities.

With great difficulty, I got placed. I had an offer letter in hand but did not have a girlfriend. There was this constant pressure if you don’t have a girlfriend that means you are not good enough.

Somehow I managed to get a girlfriend but she wanted to get married early. At 25, I had very less package and she knew I could not afford a marriage.

My Girlfriend then got married to someone making me feel dejected.

I felt the need to earn more. I worked hard, travelled more. I was happy. Then one day I attended a school reunion and found out that the students of my class were earning more than me. I became restless.
I decided to work even harder.

I saw my friends posting pictures of their wedding.

I wanted to get married. But my parents had still not started searching a girl for me.
Somehow I made my parents realize and got married.

With marriage, there are a lot of things that people don't tell you. There is pressure from the society about the wedding venue, menu etc including your honeymoon destination.

After marriage, it took me a while to realize that you should not let people pressurize you into doing things until you are ready.

My wife and I were confused between having babies first or shifting to a new house.

At 25, I was unhappy as my friends were getting married to their girlfriends and posted pictures of their honeymoon.

At 30, my wife was upset as her friends shared their maternity photo shoots.

While all this was happening, I believe many of my friends envied me for the reason that I was happily married.

All that I want to say is there are many who get successful early in life and the rest have to struggle.

Early success does not ensure a happy life, then why waste time in comparing with others.

People quit their jobs to pursue something of their choice and that does not make them less successful.

They say - If you have struggled even for ten years making mistakes chances are that you will not repeat those mistakes when you are older.

Everybody is in their own time zone and it is good for us to work towards our goals at our own pace.

Yes, life is a race. But what am I racing for?
I realized, it is not for anyone else in this world, it's just so as to achieve my aspirations in life.


Saturday, 12 August 2017

My Grandpa- My Guardian Angel in heaven

Dear Everyone,

Today is my late grandfather's birthday. I used to call him baba. 
On this day, with all of you I would like to wish him a very happy birthday. 

You must be thinking I am crazy. But what do I do. The two words 'no more' is the saddest thing of all. Each and every birthday we have with our loved ones is actually a gift. On my birthday everyone wished me but there was something that was missing and it was my Baba's birthday wishes. I miss hearing his voice, his words of wisdom.

When someone we love is gone, we find that even after their death their birthday still belongs to them.
All these years 14th August was the day for me and my family to wish him, to honour him and even today the day still belongs to him.

There are many who tell me he is in a better place now, he had to leave this world, he was old, he lived a long life.
No matter what,  living a good and long life does not diminish the pain of the loss.


Sometimes something's are not in your control. But what is in your control is to thank the person and show your love and appreciation.
Time is precious, too precious for us to take the ones we love for granted..

With people, we often think we have time ,more time than we really do. When they are gone we realise how important they were in our life.



Sunday, 2 July 2017

Women behind the wheels

Whenever there is a car ahead of you, going slowly, it's a woman.
Whenever there is a car parked wrongly, it's a woman.
Whenever the car in front of you is not responding to your flashing headlights, it's a woman.
Whenever a car goes right with a left indicator on, it's a woman.

Everyone talks about how bad a woman is at driving no matter how bad a man is.

When I was studying in class 7, I knew how to drive a car , a gear-less scooter. All I wanted to learn was a geared bike. There was this family friend of our's who said: "It is not easy to ride a geared bike. Bikes are for boys and scooters are for girls."
Those words were very discouraging and I asked my father "Papa, will I not be able to ride a geared bike"? He smiled and said: "That's just his way of thinking, you can do anything you wish to do, just be confident in whatever you do." He trusted me more than I trusted myself.

I guess we all have to trust our daughters, our women with their abilities and not make fun of them. Educate them, tell them when they are wrong.

I agree that men are better drivers than women because they are more confident. They are always perceived to be the best.
That's definitely not the case with women. They might be good or worse but in general, we point out at them which negatively affects their performance.

As a lady driver my request to all the men out there-

  • Please don't let your ego be hurt when you see a female driver overtaking your car or bike. 
  • When that 'bad lady driver' happens to be your friend, correct her and don't laugh at her. Give her a chance to improve. We all know women are very sensitive by nature and they get easily hurt.
  • Encourage women to drive more and more so that they become better drivers. 
  • Be patient and don't drive aggressively when you are stressed out. Take a break else you are more likely to make mistakes.


To all the ladies out there-

  • We all get hurt even by the slightest of gestures. But what is more important while driving is to be confident. Understand traffic rules. In India, more than driving your vehicle you need to also judge the traffic coming in the other direction. 
  • There would be many drivers who will frown at you but do not panic. 
  • Remember that there are all sorts of vehicles such as bullock carts, cycles, rickshaws, cars, buses, trucks on Indian roads so stay alert at all times.
  • Get familiar with your car and be comfortable with it. 
  • Avoid distractions and indulging in deep conversations. 
  • Once you are on the road, it is important to alert the vehicles around you when you are about to turn. 
  • Maintain a considerable distance from other vehicles because the best way is to be a defensive driver. Most importantly don't let your mood swings influence the way you drive. Happy and safe driving !!




Sunday, 14 May 2017

Dear MaaJaisi best friend

Mother's day is a day dedicated to all mother's to respect her motherhood and appreciate her unconditional love and sacrifice.

All of us are fortunate enough to have atleast one woman in our life who is Maa Jaisi ( mother like) other than our own mother and that woman could be our mother in law, wife, sister ,sister in law, friend, girlfriend, aunt, grandmother, daughter, daughter in law , teacher etc.

My Mom always says never miss a chance to thank the one who has shown love by helping you in every possible way.

On this Mother's day, I take the opportunity to thank all those beautiful woman who have played such an important role in my life and because of them I am the person that I am today.

Now to all those whom I refer to as 'maa jaisi' are the ones I share my secrets , difficulties, fears, concerns, happiness, achievements, accomplishments and my best moment's.
Thank you for sharing your life experiences, perspectives and it's always good to hear to your advices and for showing great happiness just like a Mom on my little triumphs.

Take good care of yourself because you are special to me and to many other people around you.

Saturday, 10 December 2016

Finding Mr. Right



"This blogathon is supported by Woo, The most popular match making app in India with a base of over 3.5 million users.”


Search for Mr. Right 


My parents began to search for the right alliances when I was 24. Just like any other girl, I would reject all the alliances that were forwarded to me. 

When I had been to my hometown on a vacation, my mom showed me an excel sheet on her laptop which had a list of the most eligible bachelor's of my community and asked me to shortlist. 
Now I knew how difficult it was for them to find the right guy as the sheet had some 300+ names.
I did not want to get married but at the same did not want to hurt my mom's feelings too.
Also, I was happy to see that she had started using the laptop and internet which was something new to her.

There were many columns referring to height, qualification, work location and so on against each name. There were no pictures and only plain data. 
I was pretending to be serious just to make my mom happy and filtered the data based on few criteria's and in some time the spreadsheet had only 4 rows(4 names). I told my mom not to trouble me anymore because my task of shortlisting was done.

After few days, my father gave me a call saying we have shortlisted one guy out of '4' and he wants to speak with you. 
I  thought to myself  that I will talk to him and then say to my parents that he was not the right match for me. This was not new to me and had done it before because I had not met the right guy. 

Mr. Right's Entry in my Life 


To obey my parents, I texted him and asked if I could give him a call the next day. He agreed and messaged me the next day asking if he could call in the afternoon making sure that I was free.

We spoke to each other for some time and I insisted that we become friends to understand each other better. The very first time that we spoke I realized that there was no reason to reject him. However, I did not say anything to my parents.

We continued messaging, calling each other. Each text message from him was special. Though we did not share what we felt for each other.

After few days when I gave him a call he said that he had received a marriage proposal and was on his way to meet that girl. I hung up the phone because I could not control my emotions. I was upset all day.

That evening when he gave me a call I was angry, jealous and he could sense that. 
He explained to me that he had been there only to please his parents. After all, I had not said 'Yes' nor did I even agreed to meet him.
Immediately told him that I wanted to meet him, he smiled and said talk to your parents.

I gave a call to my dad and said that I wanted to meet the shortlisted guy, he was happy that I had finally agreed to meet someone.

Before meeting each other we had agreed that even if one does not like the other, we will just say a 'No' and part ways. 

Finally, we met each other on 12th of April, the best day of my life. 
I took him to my favorite restaurant and there he proposed to me. I told him that I wanted some time to decide as this was an important decision of my life to which he agreed.

I went back to my parents and told them that I really liked him and wanted to get married to him.
My parents trusted my decision for which I am ever grateful to them.

I met him again to say " Yesterday was my dad's birthday and I still have not gifted him anything. Would you mind if I gifted you to him?"

He was very happy and said with a smile "Now I am impressed, even more , this is a nice way of saying yes, get a gift wrapper and wrap me soon". 



"This blogathon is supported by Woo, The most popular match making app in India with a base of over 3.5 million users.”
Pic courtesy : Google Images

Wednesday, 22 June 2016

Struggle as a fresher

College ke gate ke iss taraf hum life ko nachate hai ... uss taraf life humko nachati hai...
I got my Engineering degree in the year 2012 with a distinction and to be very honest I had not struggled much for this. The real struggle began outside the college premises when I was actually out of my comfort zone.
Our first college reunion was in the month of December in the year 2012, when many of my friends had already started working were invited on stage to talk about their work, their company, work life balance and there I was sitting somewhere in the corner to hide myself from Dean and Principal, trying to control my emotions, holding back my tears.
After many of my friends spoke about their career growth and life at work, my Dean asked me "Would you like to come on stage and share your experiences?" 
I did not know what to do. Somehow the dean had noticed me and I could not say a 'No'.
I managed to gather all the confidence and as I stood up confidently, I could see that sometimes confidence is everything. It is a quality that makes you look better, sound better, stronger and what you say is most likely to be accepted.
Though I had got an offer from three companies, I had not got the joining date. 
Few of my friends had already started working and earning. And here I was standing behind the lectern, talking about my struggle. 
Trust me it's a bad feeling and people who have gone through will understand. 
I spoke about my journey from June 2012- Dec 2012 and ended up saying "College di gate de is taraf hum life ko nachate hai ... te duji taraf life humko nachati hai...I said this famous dialogue from Rang de basanti and there was silence in the college auditorium for few seconds. The silence was broken when my dean, lecturers, and friends gave me a huge round of applause to build up my confidence.
We have seen the struggling actors saying, mein pehle watchman tha, ab succesful actor hu and stuff so thought of sharing few of experiences as an engineering fresher to motivate those job seekers.
What every fresher feels and what every fresher does?
  • Every company wants an experienced person so where should the fresher go. It leaves you wondering how will you get experience without a job.
  • After a while, you end up sending resumes to the companies which do not even match your job profile. I feel it funny now but I have given my resumes to the security guards asking them to give me a call when there is a job opening and to share my resume with the HR. I am sure you are laughing, It makes me laugh too.
  • As your friends get placed one by one, you are confused whether you need to be happy for them or sad for yourself. Dost fail ho jaye toh dukh hota hai .... lekin dost first aa jaye toh zyada dukh hota hai wala feeling you get.
  • You don't feel like attending those marriage functions, parties with your family because you want  to simply avoid that question "So beta whats going on in your life?"
  • There will be few people to add to your grief, "beta, my uncle's daughter got a very good job, pata hai she's getting married soon, life set hai uska" I could never understand this equation "good life + marriage = life is settled.". Every individual has a different meaning, equation, and definition of success. So just leave it to them.
  • When your dad says "Beta, gaadi lekar jaa full tank karvaya hai, you feel bad because you do not have money for petrol." All these years your dad has been paying for your food and your vehicle's petrol but suddenly you start feeling guilty. 
  • When you are alone far from away from home searching for jobs you remember your mom's dialogue and cry "Beta khana khaya.... kya banau tere liye"
Sharing a beautiful message below for all those wonderful freshers out there..

Image Credit - Google


Saturday, 11 June 2016

Thank You Doctors

A blogger in Mexico, on his visit to the hospital, noticed a doctor sleeping at her desk early morning around 3 am.  He took a photograph and posted it online criticizing her by saying "doctors are obliged to do their work" .

Soon after this doctors worldwide posted pictures in the defense of this medical student with the tags such as "I've also fallen asleep" , "We are doctors, not machines" etc.

Many people don't realize that doctors also need to have a good sleep. It is not easy to work 36-hour shifts at hospitals, sometimes 70+ hours per week. A few minutes rest is essential, so why to criticize. Also, many a times I see patients commenting on their doctors for attending phone calls or even smiling, talking with their colleagues for that matter. They have a family too. Like the way you would badly want to talk with your mother or your kids, even they would feel the same. So stop pointing fingers at them.

Lack of sleep can lead to many mistakes and would be a risk to many lives. A Single operation can last for several hours and doctors have to be extremely focused.

I am just writing this article to thank all the hardworking doctors out there for giving best to their patients. Do share it with all your friends who are doctors to show them respect and to bring a smile on their face.

Sharing few pictures(google images) here that were shared by the doctors themselves.



Saturday, 2 April 2016

Marks based education system

The 2nd PUC chemistry paper of Karnataka state board got leaked and there was another exam conducted on 31st March. The paper got leaked again and now they say that the exam will be conducted once again in the month of April.

Even in the past students have faced this and it is really frustrating to write re exams.

Few people say that the entire PUC board is under the control of tuition mafia. I am sure this is the case with different states as well. For those who do not know pre university course is abbreviated as PUC and refers to the 11th and 12th standard studies in Karnataka.

Every student joins up for a tuition class after college hours.The tuition courses are costly which is legally banned. Teachers do not teach anything in colleges and ask students to join their classes. The students are made to believe that if he/ she is not taking tuitions then they will score less.

Another new scheme is to open colleges and say no need of extra tuition classes and college classes are sufficient to score good marks. But then the fees are high which is a burden for the middle class parent's.

Sometimes the benefit of all this is that students also get a leaked paper for the money that they pay.

The entire education system is based on marks. I am not really sure how we can totally remove this but  I don't understand why everything is based only on marks. If you don't score well in PUC (science stream) you will not get a good medical or an engineering seat in a good college. If you do not get admitted to a good engineering college you will not be able to attend on campus drives or get placed in a good company. If you don't get placed in a good company your package will be less or you may remain jobless if your marks are less.

Good companies ask for all academic certificates so study well and score good marks right from 1st standard so that you will be able to do well in all board exams.  This is the mindset of the people in India.

When the private companies recruit they have their own examination systems to evaluate the candidate.

In one of the article that I read recently the writer says that all exams should be conducted online. I really appreciate this idea as the system is already there for exams such as GRE, CAT etc and is doing well.

Student should be allowed to take exams online where in the question paper is assembled randomly from question Bank and will be different for each student.

Also the exam date should be given to the students to choose from the selected dates as decided by the board. If a student is sick or has any personal emergency at home he/she can enroll for the exam on some other day. This would certainly help students to be relaxed.

The student should be given every right to get assessed when he/she is ready. There should be an attempt made to remove stress related to exams. Marks of a particular exam should not be considered as a final result. That is to say if a student performs bad for the first time that does not mean he/she cannot perform well for the second time. I know there will be set of students who will take disadvantages of this system but at least it will help the deserving students.

Intense pressure on students in schools and colleges can backfire leading to stress.

I hope we see changes in the education system in the coming years in India.

Do write back to me with suggestions.

How to deal with love failures..

The suicide rate in India has been increasing. Almost every year we see exam, depression, love failure related suicides.

Recently television actress Pratyusha Banerjee known for her acting and tv serial Balika Vadhu's beloved Anandi committed suicide. We still do not know if it is a suicide or a murder but it is hard to believe that a good actor at the age of 24 is no more. Jiah Khan's suicide was yet another disturbing news.

A person's suicide often takes the people it leaves behind by surprise and shock. In general,people try to kill themselves for few reasons such as they are depressed, they are crying out for help and do not know how to get it, whom to ask, they have made a mistake or guilty about something.

The wounds suicide leaves in the lives of those left behind by it are often deep and long lasting.

Most of our failures are nothing more than a form of rejection and knowing how to deal with rejection will help to lessen pain and come back to normal state.
Love failure can be seen as a form of being rejected. I have seen many of my friends falling in this trap. Getting attracted to the opposite gender is not love but teenagers don't understand this.
When you realize that you are being rejected, it is too late. You don't feel like talking to your friends. You start hating everything. You fail to understand that you had loved or desired someone who was not passionate about you as you were

The common symptoms are negative thoughts,unable to get good sleep, not able to work and not able to concentrate on studies or for that matter disliking everything that you do. I have seen many of my friends going through this so I can say that it is really disturbing and painful to see someone suffer from depression which is a mental condition. The intensity of all these will gradually fade with time but family and friends have a major role to help the person overcome.

If you are going through this then try telling yourself that all this is just temporary and you deserve a better life partner.
Engage yourself in physical activities like gym, sports or dance.
Party hard with your friends but that does not mean you need to take help of alcohol.
The best way is to avoid blaming yourself or others for the wrong things happening in your life.
Try to focus on good and do not analyse your past.
Learn a new skill or something that is challenging.
Travel to places if possible and meet new people.
Give yourself enough time and don't start a new relationship when you still have many unforgotten memories and negative feelings ruling your mind.

Wednesday, 9 December 2015

Namma Bengaluru Auto Drivers

Every fight with auto-walaas in Bangalore for various reasons like rash driving, demanding excess fare, taking the long route, refusing to hire etc reminds me of those cooperative auto drivers in my hometown and places like Mumbai.

It's a nice feeling that you get when those smiling auto - walaas take you through some of most crowded areas without asking for a single extra penny.

I loved travelling by auto's in Mumbai for the simple reason that the auto walaas would be my guide.
I still remember the dear auto walaas who showed me the beautiful bungalows of celebrities, mentioned all the places to visit nearby, train timings, directions etc without asking a single question.
Sometimes it used to be frustrating but then at the end of the ride he would just smile and give you some other extra information of the place where you had stopped without charging an excess fare. 
Here in Bangalore, you will find good auto drivers but the minute they start talking sweetly you got to tell yourself "wait and watch you will be asked for an extra fare". Then at the end of the trip, they tell you all heroic stories like how they got you there in time even during the peak hours.

I am not saying that all auto walaas in Mumbai or other places are very good. Of course, you will find cheaters even in Mumbai but the majority is bad in Bangalore or even Pune for that matter.

The day I had to leave Mumbai I took an auto from Andheri to Navi Mumbai. After reaching the destination, I realized that I had 8 rupees less than the fare shown on the meter. I was in a hurry and I said, "Bhaiyya jara thamba, I have 8 rupees less and this is all I have in my purse, maybe I will borrow from someone, I am so sorry". His reply made me really happy "Beti, I guess you are getting late, koi baat nahi, next time de dena" which means that's okay, give it to me next time. He knew he would maybe never meet me again but still he did understand that I was in a hurry with no money left in my pocket. I still thank and pray for that auto uncle who helped me during the hour of need.

I have seen a lot of auto drivers who are really hardworking, dedicated and live only to support their family. The biggest problem in Bangalore with the auto drivers is that they don't give respect because the atmosphere they live in is like that. Most of them live in slums and spend all of their income on alcohol and meat. These auto drivers act like beggars, but the reality is that make close to Rs 1200 per day. So don't you think there is a need for rehabilitating all these auto drivers. I have heard that there are such free courses available  but when all of these auto drivers make use of it, we might see some change.

When the shared auto fare had increased from Rs 7/- to Rs 8/- per person in Airoli(Navi Mumbai) for a 2 km distance, people refused to pay that extra 1 rupee. The auto drivers had a tough time convincing their passengers. Do you see that happening here in Bangalore? It is the other way round, you need to talk to the driver softly.Even if you refuse, you have no option left when there are no buses/cabs on that route. I also agree that there were drivers in Airoli who refused to hire but never shouted at ladies.There are exceptions all the time, but I had not faced any bad situation.

In Bangalore sometimes I have to pay 80rs for 3km distance and once an autowaala asked me to pay 20rs extra as there was no light on the streets, I could not argue as the place was dark with not many people around.

In my opinion, it is always better to be safe than regretting later, here are some points to bear in mind.

  • Check if the driver is polite at first sight, if not then wait for another auto.
  • Before boarding an auto get a fair idea of the route to avoid any arguments later.
  • Once you get into the auto make a note of the driver's details displayed and text it to your friends or family.
  • Usually, auto is cheaper during peak hours compared to cabs.
  • Never get into the first auto, ignore first two asking a higher price.
  • Cross the road if you have to hire the auto in the right direction. No point in standing where you are and hiring auto in opposite direction and then paying him extra for that U-turn.
  • During the day, you could go for an auto for less than 5kms, but it always good to book a cab.
  • You could also check for the fare of different cabs in your app installed in your cell phone and choose whichever is better.



Monday, 7 December 2015

Odd and even number rule

All the odd and even numbered vehicles to be allowed on alternate days from January 1st 2016 in Delhi. Most of my friends want this rule to be adapted in bangalore as well.

What if this rule gets adapted in Bangalore ?

  • Bad roads and circular city. Travelling by public transport will take you hours to reach your destination. Private vehicles will make you reach faster.
  • They say if you throw a stone in Bangalore, it will either hit a dog or an engineer. All the engineers will demand for work from home option on alternate days.
  • The rule will end up being costly for all ladies who travel from work at night in their cars.
  • People who can afford two cars will definitely go for it, resulting in huge profit to all the vehicle manufacturing companies.
  • I am a software engineer and my work has no time, I am required to stay in office till 11pm. I start at 11pm and it takes atleast 1 hour to reach my home without traffic. Then what do I do when the clock strikes 12 o'clock. I am not Cinderella. After 12 my car becomes illegal on the road.
  • Like somebody rightly said a city can be considered to have good transport system if all rich class people travel by public transport, but commuting still remains a major problem in Bangalore. Majority of Bangaloreans who travel by public transport do not prefer volvos as it is expensive.
  • Now say all have agreed to take the public transport . But then the public transport infrastructure cannot even manage the current crowd then how will it manage with those extra people travelling in it who previously used to travel by own vehicle.
  • What if people keep changing number plates or just pay 100rs fine for travelling by even numbered car on odd day or vice versa and keep showing the same challan everytime.
  • I have an odd numbered car and it's an even numbered day, my baby is down with fever so should I call an ambulance just because the rule does not apply to ambulance. 
  • Just because I can drive my car on alternate days does that also mean I can pay the half the amount of tax.
  • Is there anyone to monitor the traffic police from not being bribed.

Monday, 23 November 2015

Happy 1st Wedding Anniversary


With more than a year of knowing you, being in love with you,  I feel a loss of words to explain the same. With every passing day I have seen the love grow and our bond getting stronger , differences getting erased. It is true that only when you start living with the person you get to know him in a better way.

I wonder how this year flew so soon. Today we complete a year of togetherness, a year of knowing each other , a year of happiness , a year of love and a year of Eternal Memories!! Memories that are going to be with us for now and forever.

I feel very blessed because I have found a true soul-mate and a treasure of a lifetime in you.
The best part is our little fights which have brought us even closer. That's how we got to know each other very well.

After marriage it was not really easy for me to move out of Mumbai, to leave my wonderful colleagues and friends behind to start a new life.

But you took a lot of care to help me get adjusted to bangalore by dropping me to my new workplace. I know how difficult was to travel 35 kms and then again back to your workplace place for 15 kms on bike.

You are always there by my side to make me feel special.

Even if I feel low at 3am in the morning or 3 pm in the afternoon you are always there to make me feel good.

You sing for me though your voice is not good just to get back that smile on my face.

The first year of our married lives has been beautiful and there are many things that I have done for you as well and so I take full credit for being a loving wife. Now I give you the responsibility to make the rest of our lives beautiful by being a good husband.

Happy 1st Wedding Anniversary.


Sunday, 22 November 2015

English Phrases in India

                                                                                        
                                                            English Phrases in India

Here are the commonly used phrases that are used and made only by Indians.

First Class - This is the reply when someone asks "how are you?"


Mad or what - Instead of saying are you crazy, this phrase is used.


'Full' comedy - Used when 'funny' is not just funny and is 'funniest' and you are running short of words.


'Fulto' action film - If there is a lot of action scenes in the movie, you just say fulto action film.


No 'Ya'/ Yes 'ya' / No 'na'/ Yes 'na' - Ya/na is Commonly used with No and yes. After every little sentence this addition of na or ya has no relevance but just for the sake of it, everyone uses it.  


Simply 're' - This is another way of showing you are humble/modest or gratitude/respect. Why did you do this? -Answer is simply re.


Poor joke -  Used to describe bad joke.


That 'toh' i know - Most common and popular Hinglish word of all times.This "toh" I knew, He "toh" is very rude.


'Sabse' Best friend - Best is already a superlative degree to describe someone of the highest cadre and an addition of "sabse" merely adds a feeling to this sentiment of being the best friend.


What is your good name? - The translation of a popular Hindi saying "Aapka shubh naam" .


Hello Sir "Ji" - Addition of "Ji" as a sign of respect out of our strong Indian tradition.


Ok boss-  Right from the waiter to the bus conductor, everyone is referred to as Boss.

Boss'a' - Add a suffix 'a' to boss gives more respect specially in south India.

Correct 'aa'/ Correct 'ra'- Adding suffix 'aa' 'raa' is again common in south India with any given word.


Why 'ya ba' - Another way of asking or showing frustration.


Why 'yaar'  - Showing love/care to your friend.


'Chal', i wil see you tomorrow - Instead of saying 'let's go now' chal is used.


'Pakka' i will be there - Pakka word is used for confirmation.


You love me 'na' - 'haan' i ofc do - na and haan for confirmation again.


Hungry 'kya'/tired 'kya' - showing concern, forming interrogative sentences.


A-1 - Things to be considered of highest quality.


Cent-percent - to express that it is hundred percent true.


Time-pass - to say that its 'nothing important'.


Time-waste - this is worse than time pass, doing something you dont even enjoy.


Do one thing - English translation of ek kaam karo.


Himalayan blunder - very big mistake of the size of Himalayan mountain


Status family - To say that the family is dignified and wealthy.


'We are like that only' -  English translation of 'hum toh aise hi hai', meaning we will never change.

Saturday, 24 October 2015

If Genelia can, why can't we?

Most of us love dressing in a different way and never like to repeat clothes. At the same time most of us are so lazy and busy that we don't mind repeating clothes.

There are many who feel that you look your best only in your new clothes. That is not true. The fact remains that even with fewer clothes in the wardrobe you can feel fabulous and look great.
It's all in the mind.

You can always mix and match to create different combinations. There is one thing that you need to remember. It is okay to repeat your clothes but always remind yourself of how much time you leave in between the repetitions. If you can afford a minimum of 5 different set of clothes then that would be really good. Don't forget to press your clothes and wash it after every wear if you sweat a lot. Do not wear it if it has got stains.

One of my friend's manager repeated her clothes every alternate day. Her teammates hated going to their manager's cabin because they felt she never washed her clothes and instead used perfume.
Not that she did not have clothes to wear but seems like she was too busy to search in her wardrobe.

Whenever your clothes come back from laundry make it a point to put freshly washed clothes under the clothes that are already there. Most of the time people tend to pick out what they first come in contact with in the morning and it is unfortunately the same clothing they wore two days back.

If you are too lazy or too busy then you can keep some different jackets/cardigans ready in your wardrobe and then wear it with a dress that you repeat often. Even if you are wearing a dress you wore probably two days back, most people will fall for this trick and will never realize.

If you are wearing clean, pressed clothes repeating clothes is not that embarrassing. 
How many of you have atleast one friend/cousin who would sulk at the thought of having to wear the same clothes for a wedding or event twice. It doesn't matter if that dress is being worn for two entirely different crowds still statements like "out of fashion", "bored", "everyone has seen the pics" will be flying around.

If you feel the same then you should read this - Actress Genelia D'souza wore the same outfit for her brother Nigel's wedding that she had worn for her brother-in-law Dheeraj's marriage three years back.
Despite repeating her lehenga she looked stunning and was the center of attraction grabbing all eyeballs. If a celebrity can repeat her outfit why can't you?.
Now next time when you have repeat your dress twice, be wise.

Photo courtesy - Google Images

Saturday, 10 October 2015

Control Your Mind!






Looking at this glass of water, I am sure you will be expecting the question "Glass is half empty or half full?"

For those of you who do not know what this phrase means, let me explain. "Is this glass of water half empty or half full?" is a common expression used to indicate that a particular situation could be a cause for optimism(half full) or pessimism(half empty). This is actually a metaphor used to understand one's view about life.

If someone is negative and pessimistic, they are looking at what they do not have instead of what they have. On the other side if someone is positive and optimistic, they are looking at what they have rather than what they do not have and that indicates half full.

A psychologist once asked her audience "How heavy is this glass of water?"
The answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g' . The best answer given was "It depends on how long you hold it. If you hold it for an hour definitely you will have an ache in your arm."

The psychologist smiled and said "Yes. If I hold this glass of water for a longer time my arm will feel numb. The weight of glass is actually not going to change but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

Worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while nothing happens. But if you think about it the whole day, you will feel low and depressed and also incapable of doing anything. So start concentrating on being cheerful and happy, be it home or at workplace.

The other day my colleague,Niharika, who is an engineer had a very bad head ache and refused to go to work. Subasmita, who is a doctor and her roommate was clever enough to understand the reason behind this. She did not have tablet for headache but at the same time did not want to disappoint her friend. She gave Niharika a digestive tablet without letting her know about it. She told Niharika that she will be fine after having the tablet and asked her to drink lots and lots of water and then take a deep breathe. While she was doing so Subasmita reminded her of the recent trip good moments.
After few minutes she got back to work and told me that her head ache had disappeared within few minutes of consuming the tablet.

The digestive tablet had worked wonders for her. She did know what tablet it was but she had faith in subasmita. Niharika was told she will be fine after few minutes and that made her train her mind that she will be fine. Few minutes later she could notice remarkable difference in the way she felt. Her headache was only due to loads of work and stress.Once she had emptied her mind she continued to feel good.

Whenever you feel low or depressed, when negative thoughts begin to rule your mind, imagine a beautiful object/person or simply recollect the sweet memories, good days of your life. At first, with the good things, bad thoughts related with these good memories begin to distract your mind. But then simply return your attention to those good things ignoring the bad thoughts.

Another way is to write down all those bad thoughts on a peice of paper and flush it/tear it. Then tell your mind that the bad thoughts have no right to rule your mind.

Mind is all yours. It will focus only on what you command it to focus on and if you ask it to focus on the bad it will make your mind heavier like that glass of water in your arm for a longer time. Train your mind not to get distracted and to focus on those things that are required, because either you control your mind or it controls you.

P.C - Google Images

Friday, 2 October 2015

You make us proud

Our country is full of extraordinary , talented and truly inspiring people.
I have made a list of 4 people who have made me proud.
All 4 of them are my childhood friends and they are truly amazing.

Sarah D’souza :

She is the director and co-founder at  Biosyl Technologies. The goal of Biosyl Technologies is to become the leader in the manufacturing and marketing in the life science/Biotech industry by providing innovative ideas and creative solutions in biotechnology and also to cater to quality analysis and contract research. Happy to say that Biosyl Technologies is the winner of the prestigious TATA FIRST DOT Judge’s Choice Award 2013 and is ranked among India’s Top 40 Innovators at the i3 National Fair.

Entrepreneurship has no bar on age, but  you get  really surprised to see some youngsters making it big as entrepreneurs. Part of her journey is documented in "The Underage CEO's" by Ganesh V. Grab your copy on amazon and get inspired.


Laxmi Thakur:

She is an intern at Aajtak and show presenter at GEMPORIA which is a jewellery shopping channel. Watch her show once and you will definitely become her fan.

When she was working in a TV channel,she had to meet actors on a daily basis and introduce herself. Every person who met her gave her suggestions and asked her to change her name. Some told her that 'your name doesn’t suit your look, it’s a combination of modernity and traditionalism’. Then there was a director who told her 'you know what, you should change your name and try acting.’ All these suggestions were never on her list.

There have been so many celebrities who change their name for publicity and many other reasons.
Laxmi is not one of them. She truly believes that her name is her identity. She says "Be proud of what you are, see how you shine and add glory to your name because it’s just not a name ,it’s your name".



Ramya Hanumsagar :

She is a very young bridal make-up artist who has been identified as one of the best make-up artists in Bangalore.

She is very creative with her styling and up to date on the latest trends. She spends time researching on the best hair styles to go with the face. When she is at work, it’s all about tailoring to individuals needs and expectations. What I like about her is she makes you glow in your own skin.
Check her page on fb, here's the link  https://www.facebook.com/makeoversbyramya/timeline


Candida Louis:

A Motocyclist on a Mission to Conquer the Roads of India on her Royal Enfield Bullet.
Read yourself and get inspired, here's the link 
http://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/Kochi/the-girl-who-dreams-about-wheels/article7704603.ece.
Best wishes with you candida.


Sarah, Laxmi, ramya and candida you all have made us proud with your sincere determination and serious efforts. With high sprits and great zeal, keep doing the good work.

Well done and congratulations on your success! 

Saturday, 8 August 2015

Better place to live in :Mumbai or Bangalore ?


It is hard to decide which is a better place to live in. It depends on your plans, your interests.
Here are few points which can help you decide.

Bangalore has lot of career options for people interested to work for IT companies. There are finance firms, consultancies. Mumbai is much more diverse, you can find IT companies there but the kind of opportunities you get in Bangalore is totally different.

If you ask me about transport, I would say Mumbai. Local transport is cheap. Monthly pass, auto fares are reasonable. In Bangalore, auto drivers are in ready to fight mood all the time, but in Mumbai most of the drivers are well behaved. Now that also varies from one to another individual. But my experience has always been good when it comes to transport. Bangalore has worst traffic sense. In Mumbai , traffic is bad but at-least people try and follow traffic rules. If you are scared to travel by a local train in Mumbai and prefer taxis and autos then commuting will be a little difficult in Mumbai. Having own vehicle helps, in both cities. Bangalore has an advantage that tenants  have parking lots, unlike many societies in Mumbai. Even the owner will not find a place to park his car in Mumbai forget about the tenant.

When its comes to accommodation, housing, Bangalore is the best choice again. Here you can afford to stay in a PG, hostel or rent a flat which is close to your workplace. But in Mumbai you need to choose a place which is affordable and there is no choice even if it is far from your workplace. You cannot find as many hostels and PG's as you can find in Bangalore.

Entertainment, fun, lifestyle: Mumbai and Bangalore, both have malls, multiplexes. Movie ticket fare is little cheaper in Mumbai. But if you are a person who likes to window shop or spend sometime at malls then both places have it. Bangalore does not have Bollywood and beaches. If you like to sit on Marine drive or visit Bandra-worli sea link, chowpatty beach, colaba or the juhu then you will definitely miss those in Bangalore.

Water/power supply : That depends on the area you stay. Both cities have water problems. It is the same with power supply as well, depends on the locality.

My personal experience : Mumbai is expensive I agree. You can save money if you are in Bangalore. But once in a lifetime you got to visit Mumbai, to learn some of the best values of life. The local trains, nightlife, the slums teach you a lot. There are people who aspire to become an actor and come to Mumbai and the kind of struggle they go through is terrible. Plus-point, it will give you qualities of self-confidence and also respect for the poor.

Related articles :
Mumbai Local Trains
Mumbai ki Baarish - Richa Rajput

Thursday, 6 August 2015

Changing/Keeping your name after marriage!!

I see a lot many girls changing their name after marriage. One of my friends gave me some ten reasons for changing the name after marriage.

According to her changing name should be made compulsory. If not the name, at least, the surname.
"How would anyone be able to connect the kids to the mother just by looking at the name? Yes, so think of the surname as a tag for the family. Someone wants to invite you and your spouse for a party. They can use a common identification tag which is your husband's surname".

True, like most of the Indian girls, I love my husband's surname. But there are many reasons why my husband did not ask me to change my name.

My name is Rashmi Desai. I was named as Purvi after marriage during some rituals. My husband's surname is Bhandary. So I should be called as Purvi Bhandary.

Imagine I go to office after marriage (without legally changing my name), start working, send emails with my name as Purvi. Of course, the company would not allow me to do this, but if it was allowed then the co-workers would be really confused.

I have passed lot of important exams, got degrees with Rashmi Desai as my name. School, college friends, teachers, lecturers all recognise me by name Rashmi Desai. If I call myself Purvi Bhandary on social networking sites, they will wonder who I am. Personally, I love to be called as Mrs Bhandary. But professionally I prefer Rashmi Desai.

The same friend of mine asked me the reason why I changed my profile name from 'Rashmi Desai' to 'Rashmi Desai Bhandary' on social networking sites. I told her for many reasons I do not want to change my name officially as it involves a lot of legal stuff. I got married and now I have another family and that is why the name 'Rashmi Desai Bhandary' on social networking sites. I knew her next question would be your husband also has a new family so why didn't he add your last name to his surname. So I added saying I made this decision because it was right for our situation. Nobody forced me to do so.

He never asked me to change my name like most husbands do. In fact, he asked me not to change my name. 25 years I have been called as 'Rashmi' so it will be quite difficult to respond when I am called by the name 'Purvi'.

Someone told me "you will not feel like a family if your children have your husband's last name which is different from your last name". So what, no mother will stop loving her children just because they have a different last name. Now that I am married and wish to change my last name, my father won't stop loving me. I will still be a part of his Desai family.

I see a lot of girls being called by a different name in their husband's house. First ask her if she likes to be called that way. There would be many who would not like the name or being called by a different name altogether. Do not force them. I like being called as 'purvi'. But if I was named as purv amma' or 'purva bai' (old fashioned names) I would be upset.

For all the women out there, it is time to think and really consider what is so nice about changing the name. There would be many of you who do not like their birth names or do not want it to be as part of your identity because you do not have a good relationship with your parents, then that's perfectly alright to go for a name change.

The reason why I am writing this is to let you know that first and last names are a choice.
Take time to think for yourself. It is your name and you have every right to decide.
Think about it.

Saturday, 30 May 2015

Avoid Academic Pressure On Kids



Almost all parents want their children to be good at academics. I do not say it is wrong. In today's competitive world it is required to be the best. But many parents put intense pressure on their children to score well, no matter how hard it is. Parents are afraid of the future, especially because of today's economy. In addition, some parents desire to live their own unfulfilled dreams through the lives of their children.

Experts says that this type of intense pressure around school and perfomance can backfire, leading to social, emotional and physical stress.
Children suffer from sleep deprivation, eating disorders, excessive worrying,loss of interest, depression, anger, withdrawing from family and friends. 
This is not just a problem which the kids suffers in school. As they grow up the problems continue, they dislike or hate people involved in the process of their education, be it their parents or teachers, relatives or friends. They have a bad attitude towards life. Some of them become very rebelious, not willing to accept their mistakes. 

Teachers are also equally responsible in building up pressure. "Look at your elder sister so intelligent and look at you", "I am going to call your parents to school", another my favourite one "Your senior batch was so good" . I wonder if every senior batch is good and every junior batch has spoilt brats.
Most of my mom's students complain saying with grades, homework pressure they always have fear of failure and so less motivation to study, But I say Motivation for success should be fueled by love for what you are doing and not for any external pressures or fears. 




Do what you love and love what you do.

Do not compare your kids with others. Doing this is the recipe for causing stress to yourself and your kid. As a kid you never wanted your parents to keep an eye on you. Now that you have kids why pressurize them. These days it is very much easier for parents to access grades online resulting in more pressure and stress for the kid. Previously one had to just take the mark sheets home and get it signed. As a result  signature forgery was the art learnt by kids to avoid parents involvement.  

What parents can do:
Remember to identify your child's strengths,talents and interests. If she thinks maths is boring and loves to paint, that's okay.
Recognize that his or her strengths may be different to those of his or her siblings. Also give a chance to your child to relax. Kids develop at different rates. There are fast learners, slow learners and steady-as-you-go kids in every group, so comparing your child's performance can be completely unrealistic. What this means for you: Focus on your child's improvement and effort and use your child's results as the benchmark for his or her progress and development. "Your handwriting is better today than it was a few months ago."